


Afflicted

by Igirisuhito



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, Super Dangan Ronpa 2
Genre: Despair Disease (Dangan Ronpa), Identity Issues, Illness, M/M, Medical Procedures, Medication, Needles, Nightmares, Painkillers, Panic Attacks, Pining, Purposely spreading a contagious illness, Vomiting, a weirdly descriptive scene of tsumiki giving hinata an IV, more tags to be added with later chapters
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-26
Updated: 2020-07-07
Packaged: 2021-02-25 03:40:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 12,305
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21570220
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Igirisuhito/pseuds/Igirisuhito
Summary: Monokuma has a fresh new motive! Monomi has been a bit too comfortable lately, so why not let the chains go and let the biggest secret they're trying to suppress manifest within the simulation under the guise of illness?
Relationships: Hinata Hajime/Komaeda Nagito, Kamukura Izuru/Komaeda Nagito
Comments: 71
Kudos: 704





	1. Noncompliance

"Hghh-GAH!"

My body shot up involuntarily, kicking me from my sleep. My breathing was laboured and sweat dripped down my forehead, was that a nightmare? As quickly as it had come, the nightmare had completely dissolved, feeling out of reach in the depths of my mind yet leaving a bad taste in my mouth

My body was hot, unusually so. It's so hot here on tropical Jabberwock Island but I was finally starting to get used to it. This heat was more...feverish. Have I come down with something? Can I even get sick here? Surely not.

…Can viruses travel across water?

Pocketing the thought in my mind to ask Tsumiki later, I buttoned my shirt and lifted myself from the bed. My body was heavy, exhausted, like I hadn’t rested in years. Vertigo made the floor deceptively uneven beneath my feet.

Oh god. Something is wrong.

I picked up my jeans from the floor and pulled them on, stumbling slightly as I tried to balance and get my legs in the right holes. I wrapped my tie around my collar and knotted it loosely before quickly slipping my sneakers on, not even bothering to redo the laces. I really should have had a shower with how sticky with sweat my skin was, but I really had to get to breakfast.

A weird thought floated through the back of my mind, it was almost as if I was…underdressed? This is what I wear every day…?

I stepped towards the door slowly. My heart was pounding in my ears, like I'd been running a marathon. Ohhh something was definitely off.

I turned the knob and stepped outside into the daylight. Crap the sun was bright. With slow steps, I made my way from the cabins to the restaurant where everybody usually met up.

My fingers glided along the banister as I stepped up the wooden stairs. This mundane task felt so much more difficult today. Upon making it upstairs and entering through the diner’s side entrance, I was confronted by the sound of loud sobs.

I assumed it was Saionji or Tsumiki, but the sobs didn't quite match those two. They were louder, less whiny. The sight that appeared before me was Owari leaning into Tsumiki's chest, bawling her eyes out and staining the nurse's white apron. It was such an unusual scene, I found myself glancing multiple times to see if it was actually happening.

"Ah! H-hinata! I-i-is there any ch-chance you could please give- give me a hand here?" The Ultimate Nurse stuttered out, clearly distressed and overwhelmed.

I attempted to step forward to help her with Owari, but my body was frozen, stuck in place.

Huh?

"My assistance won't make any difference to her condition."

A deep, unfamiliar voice spoke. I snapped my head around the room attempting to find its owner, but there was only there was only the three of us here.

Was that…? No, surely not. I don't talk in such a pretentious way.

"H-hinata…"

I stared at her with what I assumed was panic. Tsumiki flinched and was now clinging to Owari tighter than Owari had been clinging to her.

"Hey, what the fuck is going on here?" A familiar gruff voice broke the tension.

Kuzuryuu emerged from the stairs and looked towards the two girls clinging to each other desperately. He then glanced to me, expectant of an answer.

"At first glance it would seem the stress of Nidai's loss has finally tipped Owari over the edge and into despair, but it's rather something much more sinister."

There that voice was again! I could feel my lips moving and the words coming out, but there was absolutely no thought of these words going through my mind! The Ultimate Gangster appeared shocked as well.

"Wait what the fuck is wrong with you? You sound like fucking Komaeda."

"Huh? Who sounds like me?"

As if on queue, Komaeda arrived to the scene with Nanami in tow. The girl barely looked up from her device before sitting down at a table.

"Oi, say to Komaeda what you said to me!" Kuzuryuu barked at me.

Oh god this is going downhill so fast.

"I see no reason to repeat myself." Desperately seeking her help, advice, anything, I approached the dining table and sat myself next to the gamer girl.

Nanami paused her game to look at me with a wide eyed expression. "Hinata…" Her voice was barely above a whisper.

"Amazing! You've finally developed a personality fit for an Ultimate such as yourself!" Komaeda clasped his hands together excitedly. "What brought this on?"

It seemed whatever had possessed me and myself both agreed to ignore the Luckster.

Soon Saionji and Mioda were entering the room, Saionji giggling nefariously behind her small little hand.

"Hey guys look! Ibuki will do whatever I tell her to today!" Saionji yelled across the dining hall enthusiastically. "Ibuki! Go jump on Tsumiki!"

The colourful girl made a salute "Right away, Hiyoko-chan!" and threw herself at the Ultimate Nurse, who was still cradling Owari. Tsumiki screamed as she hit the floor with both Owari and Mioda on top of her.

"My my what's going on?" Sonia and Tanaka emerged from the stairs with a dejected looking Souda trailing behind.

"A new motive!"

A shrill voice shrieked excitedly. Suddenly, a familiar monochromatic bear popped up at the end of the dining table. Man, way too much is happening too fast, especially when I'm feeling like this.

"Motive?" Komaeda was the first to speak up, sounding almost excited.

"That's riiiight! The motive for the next murder! I've decided to inflict some of you with a bad boy I like to call 'Despair Disease!" Monokuma grinned a toothy smile as he addressed everyone in the room.

"I'm sure you've all gotten a good idea of what's happening by now, but I'll give you a nice little rundown regardless, just so you brainless bastards can understand." Monokuma pointed a furry paw at Owari.

"Akane Owari has Coward Disease."

Then to Mioda. "Ibuki Mioda has Gullible Disease."

Then to me. "Hajime Hinata has Apathy Disease."

Huh…me?

I was one of the motives…?

The words left my mouth too quickly once again. "There's no cure then, unless a murder occurs?"

The bear nodded. "That's right my hollow friend! Unless you take advantage of your 'no strings attached' state and kill somebody, you could be stuck like this forever!"

The room got suddenly hotter, forcing me to loosen my tie a bit so I could breathe. My eyes were becoming unfocused and everything was drifting away. The only sounds I could hear were Monokuma's rambles, Owari screaming about her fear of death, and the blood rushing in my ears.

Monokuma had made us the perfect candidates for a killing.

With this thought the world began to spin, even though I was still seated.

"Hinata-san…are you okay?" Chiaki's soft voice was distant as my head became unbearably heavy and the world slipped through my fingers. The last thing I felt was my forehead hitting the wooden dining table.

* * *

I awoke to the sensation of my muscles being stretched. Specifically, the ones in my arms.

"...ant…d...t...an…….'s t-...eavy…."

"urel….n…..t-m-t….ike…..you -an…ft another person, Souda!"

"I can't! It's not my fault he's so-"

"Ah! Hinata-kun!"

My eyes slowly fluttered open and I groaned. My head ached and there was sweat coating my body from head to toe. I could feel the hard floor on my back, pressing my shirt to stick damply to my skin.

A mess of fluffy white hair and sunken grey eyes was leaning into my gaze. The very sight of Komaeda made me want to close my eyes again.

The two boys were stood at either end of me, Souda still holding my arms up. His face was twisted into an uncomfortable look.

"You pick up heavy machinery almost daily, Souda. You're only feigning this weakness so that you don't have to carry me, right?" I mumbled, letting out an exasperated sigh and glancing back at the pink haired male.

Souda let go of my arms with a shocked expression, allowing them to fall to my side with a thud. "W-what?! I wouldn't do something like that to my soul-friend!"

I examined his expression closely, Souda wore a nervous smile. "How boring. It's not of any issue, I can walk by myself."

I set my palms down on the floor beside me and sat up. Komaeda reached out and uttered a "Wait" when suddenly I was overcome with an aching pain in my head. A small hiss escaped my lips and I faltered.

"It's so incredibly brave of you to try to move yourself, Hinata-kun! However, Tsumiki-san said you shouldn't try to in your state.” Komaeda spoke, concern apparent in his voice. “Souda and I planned to take you to the hospital, unless you don’t want talentless scum like me carrying you!”

“I don’t. I can take care of myself.” I had another go at lifting myself off the floor. My knees stuttered for a moment, but I managed to stand. My head was still pounding, but it was so much more tolerable than allowing myself to be carried.

Komaeda’s expression morphed into one of hurt, but his eyes gleamed with a whole different emotion; intrigue. “Hinata-kun…”

“Seriously Hinata! You could hurt yourself!” Souda objected, placing a hand on my shoulder.

I swatted his hand away and began to walk towards the stairs of the hotel. “Why are you two looking at me like that? You should have expected this.”

Komaeda and Souda stayed silent as I made my slow descent down the stairs. If my hearing was a little bit worse, I probably wouldn’t have heard the “stubborn bastard” Souda eventually muttered out.

I gripped the handrail tightly once I stepped off the last step, now finding myself in the games room. Son of a bitch- my head hurts so badly. It was almost as if somebody was shoving an ice pick through my brain. My body was still glazed with sweat and my eyes bleary. Whatever Monokuma had inflicted us with, it was pretty unbearable.

I know I’ve always been a prideful person, but even in this situation I should be completely fine with leaving my health in the hands of Tsumiki. Being the Ultimate Nurse, she would definitely be able to relieve my symptoms somewhat. But the very thought of seeking help seemed anything but of interest.

What is wrong with me? I thought Monokuma said I had apathy disease, not ‘huge prick’ disease. I felt like a completely different person. The very thought made my throat dry up.

On another note, what does apathy mean again? It means like...not caring, right? So I surely couldn’t be concerned about what Tsumiki thinks of me...I don’t get it. Something just feels incredibly wrong about putting myself in her, or anyone's, hands.

Shoving those thoughts down, I decided to make my way to the third island. The sun made my fever all the more excruciating and I found myself feeling faint, but I powered on anyway.

I crossed the bridge to the centre island, then took the bridge to the third island. I've never been so incredibly grateful for that red and white building to not be on the other side of the island.

I pushed open the door of the hospital building, finding myself in a small reception room. It was painted a dull blue-green colour, and bore a large white reception desk. There was also a small assembly of chairs, forming what I presumed is a waiting area. Kuzuryuu was lounged in one of these chairs in a seemingly uncomfortable position.

The Gangster jumped up the second he saw me, as it he had been awaiting my arrival. “Dude, did you fucking walk here? Did Komaeda and Souda ditch you?!”  
“Yes, and no. I left them at the hotel.” I explained, making eye contact with the shorter boy.

“Why the fuck would you do that? You’re sick as a dog! You passed out at breakfast, remember?!”

“I recall.”

“Then why’d you-”

“I don’t need to explain my actions to you.”

Kuzuryuu’s face twisted in a scowl, before he sighed and dropped all emotion from his face. “Man I don’t get this shit. Just go talk to Tsumiki okay? She’s in the first room treating Owari’s fever.”

I nodded and made my way into the hallway past the desk. There were doors on the left, labelled with numbers, patient rooms. On the right were windowed rooms with various…Monokuma displays?

Something about this place made my headache even worse.

I swallowed down the feeling and opened the door to the firsr room, stepping inside and quietly closing the door behind me. The room was filled with the loud sound of Owari sobbing her heart out. At this point, her voice was beginning to break, sounding hoarse and desperate. Tsumiki whirled around to face me, a wet rag in hand.

“H-Hinata! I-I-I’m glad you’re- you’re here. If y-you’d like, um, y-you can go rest in the second room. I’ll be- um, w-with you in a sec!” She stammered out, flashing a forced smile.

“I’ll stay there, as I assume the others will see me as a contagion risk, but I don’t wish for you to treat me.” I spoke sternly.

Tsumiki looked shocked, and then tears began to drip from her eyes. “I-I-I’m s-sorry! I-I didn’t know that- that I-I was in-in-inadequate in my n-nursing!”

I left the room before I had to listen to her cry any further, it was boring to listen to somebody act to so pathetically. As I stepped back out into the hallway, a rush of dizziness and nausea overcame me. I staggered slightly and leant an arm on the nearest wall, squeezing my eyes shut tight and trying to still the room around me.

Jesus Christ I feel like crap.

Light footsteps approached in my direction. I couldn't see who it was, but the sound of metal chain clinking against itself hinted as to who the footsteps' owner might be.

Komaeda's voice sounded cheerful. “Hinata-kun! Kuzuryuu-san told me you made it here okay! Ah, you look awfully-”

“I’m going to throw up.”

“Oh, I understand. It’s only natural for you to have that reaction upon running into somebody like me.” Komaeda laughed at his own self-deprecation.

“No, Komae-” I gagged on my words and quickly pressed a hand over my mouth.

Komaeda’s eyes went wide, followed by a soft “oh”. The boy then grabbed my wrist, pulling me into the second patient’s room. The room had a small ensuite bathroom, much alike most hospitals. I didn’t bother looking around too much, instead opting to make my way into the bathroom as quickly as possible. I spied the toilet and removed the hand from my mouth, opting to lean it against the cistern and sinking to my knees.

I heaved into the toilet, tears pricking at the corner of my eyes as my throat burned and my head screamed. This feeling was utterly...despairing.

After what felt like hours, my stomach had finally begun to calm down. I wiped my mouth with a groan and laid my face on the cool tiles of the floor.

“That’s kind of unhygienic, you know.” A breathy voice spoke from the doorway.

“It doesn’t matter.” I mumbled.

I heard Komaeda’s footsteps come closer, followed by a cool hand being pressed to my forehead. A quiet sigh escaped my mouth in relief.

“You’re incredibly hot, Hinata-kun.” Komaeda paused for longer than necessary, “Hang on, I’ll go get Tsumiki.”

He removed his hand from my forehead and I groaned out in annoyance. “Nooo.”

“Huh? Why don’t you want me to go get Tsumiki.”

“I don’t want to be treated.”

“Wh- why?”

“I want to see what happens.”

Komaeda laughed a wheezy little laugh. "Hinata-kun, normally I'd agree to anything you say, but an Ultimate like yourself shouldn't force yourself to go through something like this."

“Your opinion on the matter isn’t important, Komaeda. I’m just telling you not to get Tsumiki.” I stated firmly. “Besides, knowing the people here, it won’t be long before a murder occurs and I'm free from this.”

Komaeda tilted his head, looking somewhat intrigued by my statement. He had hardly reacted to my harsh words. “Not that I disagree, but why do you think that will be the case?”

I shrugged slightly and pushed myself up from the floor, now sitting up. The room was still spinning dangerously around me. “You’re all psychotic. That’s all.”

This statement seemed to tickle Komaeda, as he laughed and drew a big grin on his face. “It’s surprising how much more honest you are at the moment. Has your new apathetic outlook made you unbothered with hurting people’s feelings?”

I sighed. “You can sit here and philosophise all you like about the despair disease and its impacts. I’m going to go get a drink to calm this migraine."

I pulled myself up, slowly rising to my feet when a shocking pain pulsed through my head again.

"Ghuh-!"

My legs went weak and Komaeda reached out, grabbing hold of my torso to keep me from crashing to the floor below.

"You probably shouldn't try to do that." He muttered, gripping my waist tightly.

"No shit. Let go." I hissed, reaching out and latching on to Komaeda's shoulders.

The boy laughed heartily, making no attempt to remove his hands. "You tell me to let go whilst using my body to prop yourself up? You're awfully strange Hinata-kun."

Komaeda moved to my side and, removing one of his arms from my waist and now placing his hand over mine. "Please put your arm around my shoulder, we should just get you to your bed."

I sighed loudly in defeat and placed my arm around Komaeda's shoulder. The boy nodded and slowly started to move forward.

"I really don't need your help for this Komaeda."

"I know. Thankyou for allowing me to assist you, even if garbage like myself isn't worthy to."

I didn't bother to entertain Komaeda with a response. Instead I leaned more of my body weight onto the boy and groaned.

"It's alright, Hinata-kun, you're doing an amazing job." Komaeda breathed in a hushed tone.

The sound of his voice so close to me made me shiver, but it provided a momentary distraction from the pain.

My knees bumped into something hard and I looked up, realising we had made it across the room. Komaeda slipped his hand out from my waist and helped me lower myself to sit on the mattress.

"God I'm so hot." I murmured.

Komaeda pressed a cool hand to my cheek, making me sigh in relief. Using his right hand, he pressed his fingers into the knot of my tie, pulling it further undone from my neck.

"You should probably change into a hospital gown, it would at least be much cooler than wearing jeans." Komaeda spoke in a low voice.

He must be trying to help my migraine by being quiet. How…considerate of him?

"I...you're right." I sighed, bringing my fingers to undo the top button of my shirt.

Komaeda backed off, removing his hand from my face quickly. "Oh, Hinata-kun! Should I leave?"

I undid the rest of my buttons and shrugged off my shirt and tie. "Do what you want."

The boy nodded quickly, his cheeks were slightly flushed. "I-I'm going to get you a gown." And with that, he dashed out of the room, shutting the door gently behind him.

Weirdo.

I undid my belt and lifted my hips from the bed, carefully wiggling myself out of my jeans. They were awfully tight on my body, probably from the sweat of the fever.

I discarded my jeans and laid back on the bed with a groan. I probably shouldn't lie down yet, but I'm so goddamn sore and tired. The bed was hard and uncomfortable, but it was so nice to be off my feet for even a moment.

The door opened again and in stepped Komaeda, holding a folded up gown in his hands. "Ah, Hinata-kun, are you okay?"

"No." I mumbled, rolling over so I was now face-down in the pillow.

"I'm sorry, can I get you anything?" Komaeda spoke softly as a weight sat on the edge of the bed, most likely him.

"Water."

"Can do." The weight disappeared once again. "I left your gown on the bed if you want to change."

"Mhm." I mustered the strength to push myself up before scanning my eyes around the room. Komaeda was gone once again, I never heard the door click when he left, how strange.

I picked up the gown from the edge of the mattress. It was incredibly lightweight, but the linen was soft. I slipped my arms into the sleeves and pulled it up onto my shoulders. I then tied it around the waist loosely and sat back down on the bed.

Komaeda returned a few moments later with a tray holding a jug of water and a cup. He set the tray down on the bedside table and began to pour a cup of water.

"Are you feeling any better, Hinata-kun?" He quizzed, not taking his eyes away from what he was doing.

"I'm less hot." I mumbled.

"That's good." The boy turned to me, holding a plastic cup of water in his outstretched hand. I took it carefully with two hands, raising it to my lips and sipping.

The cool water felt like heaven on my burning throat. I squeezed my eyes closed tight and drank the whole cup, finishing with a pleased sigh.

"Ah, you probably shouldn't drink too fast, you don't want to make yourself sick again." Komaeda smiled and took the cup from my hands.

"That would be exciting though, wouldn't it? To be desperately seeking a release from pain only for it to make things worse? Actually, no, that's so incredibly predictable…" I babbled out, somewhat dazed and sleepy now that the ache in my throat was relieved.

"Haha, you're starting to sound a bit like me. How scary." Komaeda chuckled to himself, pouring another cup of water.

I slowly lowered my body back onto the bed, resting my head against the pillow. "Mmnn...it would be most unfortunate to have a mindset as boring as yours."

Komaeda gave a sad smile and placed the plastic cup onto the tray. "I think I'll go. I need to talk to Kuzuryuu-san about what everybody else is doing. Please call for Tsumiki-san if you need anything."

"Mmm."

The last thing I heard was the sound of Komaeda muttering to himself and the click of the door behind him. Fatigue took hold and I found myself falling into a deep sleep.


	2. Crimson eyes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A short chapter to break the scenes up a bit. There is a scene here where Tsumiki gives Hinata a needle/cannula and it goes into quite a bit of detail, so please be careful.

_I'm in a classroom, sat at a desk._

_There are other students there, their faces are indiscernible._

_They talk among themselves._

_'Privileged rich kid.'_

_'Selfish asshole.'_

_'Talentless.'_

_A pair of pale hands slam down onto my desk, causing me to jump back in instinct. I stare at the hands intently, my head drawn down in fear. The oppressive atmosphere this person gave off was terrifying._

_"Insignificant."_

_A voice spoke, deep yet completely devoid of emotion._

_"Parasite."_

_I bit my lip and mustered up the courage to look at this asshole. Leant over my desk, face mere inches away from mine, was a boy around my age. His eyes were piercing red, hair long and unruly, bearing a reserve course uniform._

_There was no way this kid was a reserve course student._

_His eyes made contact with mine, refusing to falter or shift._

_"Boring."_

_I closed my eyes, attempting to control my anger. It was taking everything I had not to swing at this jerk. My rage subsided and I opened my eyes again._

_I now found myself staring into hazel eyes, nervous, seething._

_"You don't deserve to be an Ultimate."_

_It was me who spoke this time. I was berating the image of my own self._

_"You're an anxious mess who's pathetic enough to believe that you could ever truly be special."_

_"The best thing you can do is turn off your free thought and fit into the role society created for you."_

_Hajime looked down towards the desk. He was clenching his teeth together, a weak attempt to stop the tears rolling down his face._

_I reached out and grabbed his chin, pulling his face roughly so that he was forced to face me._

_"This is why you're dead and I'm here."_

"LEAVE ME ALONE!" 

I screamed out, wrenching myself from the red eyed boy's grip. My blankets were thrown off my bed, falling into a messy heap on the hospital floor. 

Wh-where did the classroom go? 

Where did that boy go? 

Where am I? 

I looked down at my hands, my palms shone with sweat. Gross. 

My breaths were quick and uneven. My thoughts swirled with conflicting emotions. I think I'm losing my mind. 

I clenched my hands into fists and screamed from the depths of my heart. 

I'm so scared. 

I'm going to die. 

I don't want to die. 

No wait, I've already died. 

This isn't me. 

There is no Hinata Hajime. 

There is only despair. 

"P-please t-t-take deep breaths, Hinata-san!"

Huh, is somebody talking to me? 

I looked to my side, seeing a worry-stricken Tsumiki grabbing at my arm in an attempt to pull me back to reality.

It worked, and suddenly everything became apparent. I had been absentmindedly digging my nails into my palms, hard enough to draw blood. My whole body was aching and shivering despite the lack of cold. My face felt damp with sweat and tears. I was still crying out with every exhale, but the sound was barely reaching my ears. 

I pressed my lips together tightly to silence myself, receiving a grateful nod from Tsumiki. 

"T-that's good, you're doing great." 

I took a deep breath and closed my eyes, attempting to rid my mind of thoughts. I was going to forget the nightmare, I was going to think about something else. 

I...couldn't think of anything else.

That boy had felt so familiar. Like somebody who was close, yet I knew nothing of. He gave off the feeling of a photo from a time you don't know. You want to try so hard to remember, you feel as though you know who that is but it's not quite right. Such an alienating sensation. 

And those eyes were merciless. 

I bundled up my gown in my fists and squeezed tightly. The thin linen provided little comfort, but my breathing was gradually slowing down. 

The adrenaline was wearing off, but exposing how I truly felt underneath. Tired and weak. I had almost forgotten that I was still sick. 

"Y-you're doing a great job, Hinata-san." Tsumiki chirped. "Just keep breathing calmly, I'll grab your blankets. 

I rest my back against the head of the bed, exhaling another deep breath. Tsumiki pulled my blankets back over the top of me, attempting to make the bed as she went. 

I finally gained the courage to speak again. "Tsu-Tsumiki-san…?"

"Y-yes?"

"What- um. What was that? Was that a, uh, despair disease thing..?" 

The nurse wandered over to the table beside my bed and picked up the jug Komaeda had left earlier. "I'm- I'm not s-sure."

"Not sure?" I inquired. 

"Well...y-y-you had a p-panic attack." The nurse stuttered out, handing a cup of water to me. "I-It may well have been..."

I took it from her, only to have my shaking hands allow it to slip through my fingers and fall to the floor, spilling water everywhere. "O-oh…I didn't…. I didn't think that would happen…"

"Ah! It's okay! I can clean it up!" Tsumiki spoke quickly as picked up the cup from the floor.

I glanced around the room, trying to get a good gauge of the time. It was quite dark, likely late at night. The only light being produced was from fluorescent light above my bed, it's cool colour harsh on my tired eyes and aching head. 

"My head hurts…" I mumbled, laying back down and pulling the blankets close. 

"Would you like something for it? I-I-I know you said you did-didn’t want me treating you…" Tsumiki stuttered out. 

"Mmnn…I'm having a hard time deciding which would be the least boring. To treat this would be boring, but to have me in a drugged state completely at the mercy of the despairs could be exciting…watching the symptoms manifest has been almost interesting, but this headache is truly predictable. The pain doesn't change, and that bores me." I babbled away to myself, turning the idea over in my mind. 

"Huh? Wh-what do you mean by 'th-the despairs?'" Tsumiki inquired, leaning a bit closer. "A-are you referring to M-mioda and Owari-san?" 

"Yeah."

"Oh! Please don't worry about them, they're actually quite useless at the moment." Tsumiki gave me a big smile. "I'm going to start you on fluids and get something for the pain, okay?" 

I nodded and watched the nurse wander out of the room. A sigh left my lungs as I considered the consequences of my actions. 

It was unusually difficult to predict what was going to happen. Normally I could see the path laid before me with perfect clarity. Anytime that path strayed was an exciting moment. Not knowing what was going to happen excites me, to see all the ways the despair disease may continue to affect me. 

Perhaps even my life was at risk? 

The thought brought a grin to my face. 

Tsumiki wandered back in with a towel and a small tray of medical tools. Alcohol wipes, a pair of latex gloves, a needle, a line, a saline bag, and a small plastic cup. She placed the tray on the table and bent down to clean up the water I had spilled earlier. 

"D-do you have any problems with n-needles, Hinata-san?" The nurse asked as she cleaned. 

"No." I answered, unsure of whether I was or wasn't. 

"That's good!" Tsumiki tossed the towel in a nearby clothes bin and washed her hands. 

Tsumiki put on the latex gloves and tore open an alcohol wipe packet. "Can you prop your arm up on a pillow for me?"

I nodded and grabbed a pillow from behind me. Tsumiki placed a small paper sheet over it and motioned for me to place my arm down. The girl then began to prod her fingers at my inner elbow. 

"Hmm, you're kind of dehydrated. Could you open and close your fist a few times?" 

I followed her directions, obviously it must have helped because the next thing I knew she was wiping down my arm with the alcohol wipe. Tsumiki picked up the needle and held it close to my skin. "T-this is going to hurt a bit, okay?" 

"Yeah." I whispered, trying to reassure myself. 

There was a sharp scratch in my arm, causing me to bite my lip. Tsumiki seemed pleased as she removed the needle, leaving only the cannula behind. She flushed the vein with saline, causing a weird chilly feeling to go through my arm. 

"That's cold." I mumbled. 

"Ah! I-I'm sorry." Tsumiki apologised and stopped the flush. She took away the saline syringe and taped down the cannula and line. 

She then hung up the saline bag on an IV pole and inserted a line into it. Then, she connected the line to the one in my arm and set up the small infusing machine attached to the IV pole. It would have been fascinating to watch her work, but this was simple nurse stuff. Even somebody like myself, who bears such a talent, could do this with my eyes closed. 

Another sharp pang of pain rippled through my head, causing me to suck air through my teeth sharply and wince. 

"Oh, that's right! S-sorry, I almost f-forgot." Tsumiki picked up the small cup and handed it to me, beginning to fill another cup with water. 

The small cup contained two capsules, white and orange in colour. "Painkillers?" 

"Mhmm, these ones are strong but they're likely to make you drowsy, n-not that I see that being an issue for you." Tsumiki explained before holding the cup of water out to me. 

I tipped the two pills into my mouth and took the water, drinking it to wash them down.

"S-so…do you need anything else?" The nurse inquired, packing up the tray of tools. 

I shook my head, receiving a grateful nod in return. I placed the cup of water onto the table beside me and pulled the pillow back behind my head. Laying down, a soft yawn left my mouth and I closed my eyes. Either the painkillers were kicking in incredibly fast or I was just exhausted from the panic attack, probably the latter. 

Tsumiki picked up her tray and headed towards the door. On her way, she switched off the light above my bed. 

"Sleep well, Kamukura-kun."

The door clicked shut behind her.


	3. Amalgamation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! Long time no see. I sat on this chapter for a rather long time because some of the elements felt a little...cringey. But I do not care now, enjoy the Komahina.
> 
> There has been a perspective change, mostly due to the fact it's boring being in a hospital room all day. It's likely the perspective will change between Hinata and Komaeda again in a later chapter.
> 
> You may notice there have been edits to the previous chapters, but they're nothing more than spell/grammar corrections and the change of the numbering of the rooms. Hinata is staying in the second room, the room Komaeda would have.

_ Ding dong, bing bong _

The monitor rang with a familiar sound, the one that brought me from my sleep every morning since arriving on the island. I didn't bother to pay any attention to Monokuma's message, it was the same as it was everyday, pre-recorded drivel. 

I rolled over, letting out a loud sigh before sitting up. My sleep was fine, but I couldn't help but feel a little worried about the direction this incident was taking. It was so immature of the Ultimates to panic over a measly illness and try to quarantine everyone! Souda and Kuzuryuu's hope had shined through miraculously, Souda putting together an effective way to communicate with such scarce resources whilst Kuzuryuu continued to sacrifice himself for the sake of others! 

Swinging my legs over the side of the bed, I rose to my feet and stretched my arms over my head. Despite everybody's efforts, I still had to return to the hospital to assist Tsumiki. It was unlikely that she had rested either, especially considering Hinata's unusual behaviour. I wonder if she finally convinced him to accept treatment? 

I wandered into the bathroom and picked up my toothbrush, wetting the brush then squeezing some toothpaste on. As I brushed my teeth, I found myself once again pondering the significance of the despair disease. 

In the beginning, I realised that the disease represented the opposite of both Mioda and Owari's personalities. Mioda is usually a free spirit who refuses to take orders from anyone and Owari is a strong lady who isn't afraid of anything. I wasn't so sure about Hinata, however. If the opposite of apathy is enthusiasm, well that certainly wasn't a word I would use to describe him. 

Hinata was, if anything, incredibly unenthusiastic.

After pausing the motions for a moment and biting down on the brush, I brought my hand to my chin in contemplation. 

But if we think of the opposite of apathy being passion or concern, that would be much more accurate. Hinata could always be seen stressing out over  _ something _ . He tried so very hard to hide it, but the way he pressed his hand to his lips whenever deep in thought truly gave it away. Not to mention the fact his confident façade usually came crashing down during a rebuttal, revealing an incredibly nervous personality beneath. 

Ah, I really do think about Hinata-kun too much, huh? I must be forgetting my place. Especially after I so shamelessly spied on him changing through the crack in the door yesterday after bringing him his gown. How indecent, this little fascination of mine seems to be developing into a bit more than just 'thoughts'. 

I rinsed my mouth with water and left the bathroom, ignoring the stupid burning in my face. 

I picked up the jeans I had left neatly folded on the end of my bed, holding them by the waist and allowing the fabric to unfold itself. I then stepped one leg at a time into them before pulling them up to my waist and doing up my belt. 

Sitting myself down on the edge of the bed, I pulled my shoes out from underneath and slipped my feet into them. I did up the zips and then made my way back into the bathroom.

As I leaned my hands onto the sink, I stared back at my reflection in the mirror. My eyes were tired, dull, empty. The skin was much too pale, a disgusting shade of pasty white. My hair was thin and wispy, too delicate to bother brushing. Not to mention I was pathetically skinny, as if a too-strong gust of wind would knock me right off my feet. 

Disgusting.

I forced myself to give the mirror a big smile and left the cottage, grabbing my jacket on the way out. 

As I slung the jacket over my shoulders, I stepped out onto the boardwalk. Water swished beneath the planks, creating an oddly foreign sensation as if I was floating. I began walking, leaving the hotel area before making my way over the bridge to Jabberwock park, then across the bridge to the third island. 

There was a cool breeze coming off the water that left a salty taste on my lips. The sun was hot, but never to an intolerable level. I don't think I ever felt too hot whilst I was here, which was somewhat peculiar. I'd always been rather sensitive to heat, had things changed during the years I had forgotten? 

Suppressing the thought, I pushed open the door to the hospital, drawing the attention of the people awaiting inside. Tsumiki and Kuzuryuu were standing in the reception, presumably they had been talking. 

"Komaeda, you're late. I seriously didn't think you were gonna fuckin' show up today." The gangster hissed. 

"I'm so very sorry, I never intended to waste your precious time waiting for my worthless self." I smiled, waving casually. 

"Are you being sarcastic?" 

"No! Not at all! It wasn't my intention to sound like a liar!"

Kuzuryuu clicked his tongue in annoyance. "Whatever. Souda should be calling us soon to give us an update." 

I nodded in acknowledgement and turned to Tsumiki, who was standing to the side with her teeth worrying her bottom lip and her hands clasped together tightly. "Good morning Tsumiki-san."

She jumped slightly and looked up at me. "Ah! G-good morning K-Komaeda-san!" 

"How is everybody doing?" 

"N-not great…e-everybody is in a s-stable condition…but Mioda and Hinata-san have been a little…d-difficult."

"How so, if you don't mind me asking?" 

"Mioda-san has a t-tendency to get up and walk around, I guess. H-Hinata-san has just been…stubborn."

I laughed softly. "Mioda-san has always been like that though, she's difficult to keep in one place! Truly such a lively spirit."

Tsumiki-san nodded in agreeance. "Well…if you would like to see any of them, I think everybody's awake."

"I may check in with Hinata-kun after we receive word from Souda. He was quite ill yesterday so I think it would be good to see how he's doing." At that moment, the light on the monitor began to flash blue, signally somebody on the other end attempting to make contact. "Ah, what perfect timing."

Kuzuryuu answered the call as Tsumiki bowed and returned to the hospital's ward. The screen lit up with an image of Souda at the music venue. It seemed some of the others were there as well, standing further away from the camera. 

"Hellooooo!? How is it? Can you see my handsome face?" His joyful voice screeched from the speakers. 

"Yeah. We can see your ugly mug." Kuzuryuu grumbled in response, likely in retaliation towards the mechanic's flippant attitude. 

"Hmph! Well, we're all good on our end too, can see your sad ass faces bright and clear." 

I squinted, peering closely at the people displayed on the monitor. "Is Saionji-san not with you?" 

Tanaka chuckled, crossing his arms across his chest with a knowing smile. "It seems you've noticed our missing party member. Alas, her cowardice knows no bounds, and she has declared us to be her adversaries!" 

Sonia cleared her throat, signalling that she was willing to elaborate on Tanaka's rambling. "She has locked herself in her room. She declared that she wouldn't be coming out until the despair disease had been cured…" 

How unfortunate, no Ultimate should be willing to give up hope so easily! 

"Saionji-san aside, what about you? How are you guys doing?" Nanami piped up suddenly. 

"Shit. How else would we be doing?" Kuzuryuu hissed. 

"Yeah yeah." Souda sighed, scratching his cheek. "Well none of you guys are sick yet, right?" 

"I doubt the disease would have such a short incubation period. We're all still in good health! Although…" I trailed off a little, looking towards the ground as I thought. 

"Although?" 

"We'd be much better off with more hands on deck! Surely you agree, Souda-kun?" 

"Hell no! Ugh it's like you want us all to get sick!" Souda groaned, pointing an accusatory finger towards the camera. 

I waved, dismissing his accusation. "Of course not! There's no point in  _ everyone  _ catching despair disease." 

"Guys!! Please stop fighting!" Monomi's shrill voice suddenly cut through the air. I'm pretty sure a few groans of displeasure came from the other side of the screen. 

"Huh? Are you seriously over _there_ , Monomi?" I blinked a few times, disbelieving in what I was seeing. 

"Y-yes! It's too dangerous for me to get close to the hospital when I don't even know what's going on there…" She grabbed hold of her ears with her tiny stuffed paws as she spoke, seemingly nervous. 

Kuzuryuu's face pinched into a snarl. "You're fucking kidding me…why would a goddamn stuffed animal need to worry about catching a disease?!" 

"Uwaaah! Please don't discriminate! The d-despair disease is horrible and dangerous, it can even destroy this whole island! I know it seems inappropriate, especially since I'm your teacher, but until we can figure out how to deal with it…I'm gonna be on this side…"

Kuzuryuu lunged forward, the scowl still twisting his expression as he hit the button on the monitor. The screen flicked off, leaving only our reflections staring back at us. 

"That shitty stuffed animal, she's seriously fuckin' useless! God I'm pissed off!" Kuzuryuu spat, absolutely seething as his small frame shook with rage. I opened my mouth to say something, but recalling how Hinata had reacted to my words about Pekoyama's sacrifice just the other day, I decided against it and shut up. 

Kuzuryuu seemed to pull himself back together without my help. "Argh, dammit. It's not worth it…I'm gonna go get some fresh air."

And so he left, leaving me all alone in the hospital lobby. 

Alone, in the hospital…

I shivered and wrapped my arms tightly around myself. There was nothing we could do right now but wait, wait and  _ hope  _ things get better. But…it probably wouldn't hurt to go check up on Tsumiki, or Hinata, or anyone for that matter. 

_ As long as I'm not alone here.  _

Shaking off the thought, I pushed open the door to the hospital ward. 

It was surprisingly quiet, empty. All the patients were in their rooms, Tsumiki was standing in the hallway, wringing her hands nervously as she glanced between the ward's entrance and the stairs. She seemed to perk up as soon as I entered her line of sight. "Oh, Komaeda-san! H-how are the o-others?" 

I smiled as I approached slowly, lowering my voice a little to match the volume of hers. "I think they're doing okay. Saionji's apparently holed up in her room though, she's scared of catching the disease."

"Oh! Th-that's good to hear! I-I mean! I-I-It's really unfortunate!" Tsumiki stammered out, waving her hands. 

"Hey, it's okay, I know what you're trying to say. It's wonderful that everyone's doing okay, but sad that Saionji's seemingly given up hope, right?" 

Tsumiki stopped her arm waving and now stared with a rather flustered expression. "Y-yes…something like that…"

"Anyway, is Hinata-kun awake? I'd like to see how he's doing." I questioned, glancing towards the door of the second room. 

"O-oh! Of c-course, he's been up for a l-little while, you're f-free to see him…" Tsumiki smiled a little, but spoke again before I went to thank her. "I should m-mention before you go in…H-Hinata-san's a little…mentally unwell."

I blinked a few times, a little perplexed. "Huh? I might be stepping out of my place in asking this, but isn't everyone? I don't think Owari-san's stopped crying since she got here."

"Y-yes th-that's true! I-it's just…Hinata's been a little…delusional. I-I'm a bit worried he m-might try to hurt you…"

A smile tugged at the corners of my mouth, tempting me to laugh at the thought. Hinata could barely stand yesterday, it would be most surprising if he was able to kill me in such a state. But if it's Tsumiki who's concerned it's likely warranted. "Please don't worry, I can fight off Hinata-kun if need be. I know I may look disgustingly scrawny but I'm stronger than I seem!" 

Tsumiki gave me a concerned glance, but left with a soft "O-okay then." Now that I had her approval, I made my way up to the door and rapped my knuckles lightly against the timber. 

"Komaeda." A rather monotone sounding voice spoke from the other side. I assumed it was permission to enter and turned the doorknob, slowly pushing open the door. 

Hinata was out of his bed, situated near a white cabinet. In his hand he held a flower, one he must have plucked from the potted plant in front of him. He didn't turn around upon hearing me enter the room, choosing to instead keep his eyes fixated on the flora before him. 

I stepped inside and closed the door behind me, the second the door clicked shut Hinata spoke. "Do you know about the significance of the red spider lily, Komaeda?" 

"Ah, I don't actually. I'm not well versed in flower meanings." I gave him a soft smile, rather interested in his strange choice of conversation. 

"Legend has it that they grow in hell and guide the dead to their next reincarnation. I wonder if that's why it was planted in this room."

"Are you implying this place is hell?" I questioned. 

Hinata glanced back at me, a judgemental gaze. It was almost as if he saw straight through me, picking me apart piece by piece like a raven devouring roadkill. A shiver went down my spine as he spoke again. "Do you honestly believe otherwise?" 

"A-A hospital room is a place teeming with despair. But that's what makes it a perfect birthplace for a stronger hope!" With a wide grin on my face, I spread my arms excitedly. Hinata simply stared back with an unamused looking expression. 

He was silent for a moment before averting his eyes from me and back to the flower. "I believe this was placed here on purpose as a means of reminding me of what I'm here for. I'm merely being guided towards my reincarnation as Hinata Hajime."

"I…don't quite understand what you mean."

"That's to be expected." 

I sighed, shoving my hands into the pockets of my jacket. Hinata-kun was so incredibly puzzling, I couldn't help but resent the way this disease was making him act, as if he knew something, everything that we didn't yet would never tell if you asked. It felt as if I was talking to a completely different person, Hinata was an empty emotionless shell that not even  _ despair _ inhabited. 

But for some reason, he wasn't pushing me away like he usually did. Whether it was from simply being too exhausted from the disease, or perhaps he had changed his outlook, either way it was more than I deserved. Scum like myself didn't deserve to get close to somebody as radiant as Hinata-kun.

Hinata finally diverted his attention from the plant and turned to me. "So, the others are staying in the Hotel to avoid contagion, correct?" 

"Huh? Yes that's right." I affirmed. "But on that note, how did you even know it's contagious? You had already fainted by the time Monokuma disclosed that information to us."

Hinata pursed his lips together before taking a small breath. "The fact that Souda didn't want to escort me to the hospital told me all I needed to know, it's unusual for him to refuse help to an acquaintance out of sheer laziness. The proof that Monokuma had informed the class was in your enthusiasm to assist."

I blinked a few times. Hinata was good at putting the pieces together slowly, but I don't recall him ever being this quick witted… 

_Wait._ "What do you mean 'my enthusiasm to assist'?" 

Hinata's eyes narrowed, similar to the way he'd focus when accusing somebody in the courtroom. "There's only been a single occasion where you have stepped up like this, rather than allowing others to do so, and that occasion was when you were planning a murder."

My body seized up. It felt as if time began to slow down and I could feel my heart thumping loudly in my chest. Hinata was suddenly no longer by the cabinet, but now standing eye to eye with me. His nose was bare millimetres away from my own with his breath hot on my face.

Why is my heart racing? What is this sensation?

Attraction? 

_ Fear? _

With Hinata so close, I found myself taking in every sight and sensation. The teen's lightly tanned skin, his cheeks flushed with fever. His chapped lips, irritated and a rosy red colour. The murky swirls deep within hazel eyes, glassy and sunken with fatigue. Even if he wasn't showing it, he was undoubtedly ill. 

Hinata's lips parted, dry skin slowly sticking apart from one another. "Your intentions lie in dangerous places. You either are planning take advantage of our diseased states and murder Mioda, Owari, or myself…"

He paused, brushing his thumb against my chin before taking hold in a light grip. 

"Or, the more likely scenario, you want to spread the despair disease, indirectly causing a murder."

This is too much. I must be going insane. 

_ This isn't the Hinata Hajime I know. _

I let out a raspy little chuckle and grinned at the other boy, feeling a strange emotion bubbling up in my chest. It was so incredibly disappointing that he had caught on to my plans, but I couldn't help but be intrigued by his newfound insight. 

"I was right on, wasn't I? How exactly do you intend to pull something like this off?" Hinata spoke, his voice almost a whisper. 

"I had a few different ideas. The one currently playing out involves Souda-san. You see, if luck is in my favour, he has already picked up the despair disease from merely touching your arms, the symptoms have yet to manifest. He's the diseased hiding among the healthy, rendering the quarantine completely pointless." I took in a shaky breath as a smile grew on my lips. 

"The hope born from every single Ultimate falling into despair will be magnificent! Even now you're all fighting so hard against it! I can't even imagine what it will be like to watch you all piece yourselves back together, trying to understand what the despair disease truly meant whilst figuring out the motive for the murder. I can hardly wait!" I wrapped my arms around my waist, holding myself together as if I was going to burst from this uncontained excitement. 

Hinata was silent for a few moments, before sighing and letting go of my face. "How boring…" He muttered. 

"Ah, I-I'm sorry to have been such a dis-" 

"I was right not to have expected anything better from you." His voice was rough, forcing every single muscle in my body to tense up out of primal fear. I felt like a deer in the headlights, a rabbit stood before a starving wolf. 

"You're so predictable, Komaeda Nagito. Utilising a talent as boring as luck to bring about despair?" 

I opened my mouth to apologise for my shortcomings, only to have fingers grab at my jaw and dig into my cheeks in a way that prevented my teeth from meeting. A strangled noise akin to a whimper forced itself from my throat. My knees were weak yet my body felt light. It was as if I was merely putty in Hinata's hands, completely submitted to his control.

"If you want to spread the despair disease so badly, why don't  _ you _ take it?" Hinata's practically spat the words, the emotion in his voice betraying that empty expression he held. 

He leaned even closer and I squeezed my eyes shut tightly. This is it, this is the part where he kills me. That thought caused an inappropriate sensation to stir in my gut, I couldn't help but laugh at the ridiculousness of it all, yet my laughs were cut short by a warmth pressing to my lips and devouring them straight from my mouth. 

My mind went blank.

Is he…? 

No… 

No way...

Every muscle in my body went limp as something warm and wet forced itself into my mouth. I shivered with excitement and rubbed my tongue against the other. 

The euphoria overwhelming me was dizzying. This is what I had wanted. I'm so disgusting, taking advantage of Hinata-kun like this. The bad luck awaiting me now would be immense, perhaps I really am going to die.

Despite my brain's protests, I melted into the kiss and wrapped my arms around Hinata's neck. As my chest leant into his, I could feel the burning fever radiating from his skin. Haha…I really am going to get sick if I keep this up…

The thought made me shiver and moan, sucking greedily at the other boy's tongue. His mouth had an awful taste of blood and stale water, but I just couldn't resist. Our lips made quiet wet noises as they rubbed against each other, drool now leaking from Hinata's mouth and down his chin. 

It wasn't long before I was finding it hard to breathe with the heat radiating from Hinata. I wiggled my face free of his grip, separating the kiss and gasping for air. Hinata panted softly, staring at me with half-lidded, glazed over eyes. He looked calm, unfeeling, unexcited. It made my heart sink and I found myself mad for thinking it would be any different, as if he would have felt anything more. 

"Ko-" 

Hinata spoke with a hoarse voice before suddenly choking on the name. His eyes rolled back and he slipped from my grasp, collapsing to the floor below. 

"H-Hinata-kun?!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ty for your patience, I hope you enjoyed. I really love exploring the concept of Hinata being Kamukura but his personality can still come through if he gets upset enough.


	4. Crush

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been a hot minute

Hinata was sprawled out on the floor lying face up. His body was lifeless, save for the occasional twitches of his fingers and eyelids as neurons and muscles misfired in a feeble attempt to keep him conscious. 

I knelt down, taking the boy's heated face into my hands and angling it up towards mine. He was incredibly pale, the only colour remaining on porcelain skin the flush of his fever. His breathing was slow and shallow, every little warm breath close enough to taste on my lips as I leaned in close. There was no way I couldn't begin to panic when he was in such a state.

"Hinata-kun! I understand if you're so repulsed by my actions that you've passed out, and I know it's more than I should ask of you..." The words came out of my mouth too rushed and barely intelligible, so I took a deep breath. "But  _ please  _ give me some sign you're okay."

My hands were beginning to shake, enough so that my hold on Hinata’s face became too loose to support the weight of his head. His face slipped from my grasp, his head lolling to the side as a soft gasp escaped my lips. 

Did I kill Hinata-kun? No, that's ridiculous. You can't kill somebody by kissing them. I mean, you can, technically, but not like  _ this _ . Surely not?

I wiped the remaining saliva from my lips, subtle evidence of a possible cause of death. Carefully rising to my feet, I stared down at Hinata’s weakened form. Fear was beginning to take hold, anxiety burning through my bloodstream and forcing me to move. 

I can't lose him, not to such a hopeless cause. Hinata-kun didn't deserve to die such a pointless death by my hands, he deserved something grandiose, something exhilarating. 

This kind of death would just be… boring. Wasteful.

"Tsumiki-san!!" I called out, my feet setting into motion as I made a dash for the room's exit.    
  
For a second, I felt a passing relief that Hinata had collapsed before Tsumiki had accidentally seen the repulsive things I was doing, but quickly scolded myself for thinking such a selfish thought. Hinata’s life was in danger and here I was glad that Tsumiki didn’t see me sucking face with him? How pathetic.

There was no doubt about it. It was my own luck that had caused Hinata to pass out. It was protecting me from being caught preying on him. That realisation caused something deep within my chest to ache with repulsion, dread, undiluted terror. 

_ Despair.  _

I can only assume it was that same twisted luck that guided me into Tsumiki's arms, causing me to bump straight into her as she was coming into the room. All of the school's advice against running into halls went wasted on the likes of me. We slammed hard into one another with an "Oof." 

As Tsumiki went crashing to the floor, the saline bag in her hand was squished into her chest, causing it to burst and soak her clothes with salty water. They stuck to her body damply, clinging to her skin in an erotic way. Her skirt had also flown up in the process, flashing me with an inappropriate amount of thigh along with her white underwear. 

"Uwahh! K-K-K-Komaeda-san!!" She squealed, pulling her skirt down in a desperate attempt to save her dignity as her face flushed a bright red. 

"A-ah, I'm so sorry you had to even  _ accidentally _ touch somebody as disgusting as me!" I reached out a hand, offering to help her up. "My apologies for running, but it appears that Hinata-kun has collapsed."

"Wahh?! D-D-Don't worry about me, t-that's what you should be concerned about!" Tsumiki grabbed my hand, allowing me to help pull her up to her feet. 

Without another word she scooted past me and into the room, abandoning the spilt saline bag on the floor. She practically  _ pounced _ on Hinata's lifeless body, throwing herself into her brilliant talent as she pressed her ear to his chest and a hand to his forehead.

“He- he’s burning right up! Wh-why was he even out of bed? What was he doing before he collapsed?!" She began exasperated throwing a flurry of questions at me, all whilst examining Hinata's eyes for any sign of possible head trauma.

"He was…" I paused, teeth teasing unconsciously at my bottom lip. "Kissing me. We were making out."

The nurse's head snapped around in a fashion not so dissimilar to the creepy way an owl's would turn unnaturally. Her grey eyes bore right into me with an expression of rage mixed with shock. "A-are you s-s-serious?! K-Komaeda-san that's so irresponsible! You should know that you'll catch th--" 

“Of course not!” I slid my hands up the sides of my arms, gripping at the sleeves of my jacket as I pulled my eyes away from Tsumiki’s. “Don't you know that kind of thing only happens in fiction? It would be repulsive for somebody like me to take advantage of an Ultimate’s illness for my own selfish desires. The very thought makes me want to vomit in my mouth!”

Tsumiki narrowed her eyes for a second, before realisation set in and they shot back open. “O-oh! I see…”

“Ha, hahahah.” Bringing my hand to my mouth, I touched my lips absentmindedly and glanced towards Hinata's body still laid out on the floor. 

Was it wrong of me to say that? I can't have Tsumiki knowing of my intentions, she would stop me without hesitation. Perhaps the others would tie me up again, then I would miss the murder and the investigation... how awful. But, I can't shake this odd feeling that this is the wrong thing, that I should tell the truth. There is a possibility that not being honest about the cause of Hinata's fainting spell could lead to complications further on.

It could even be the one thing that leads to his death. After all, his condition is somewhat worse than Owari or Mioda's…

But owning up would reveal our intentions and likely ruin any chance of allowing the Ultimates to shine even brighter…

No. I shook my head free of the thoughts. The silence had dragged on long enough, Tsumiki was going to start questioning my words unless I spoke up soon. 

“Well then… should we move him?”

"R-right!" With a few fervent nods, Tsumiki hopped off Hinata's body. "Yes! Please help me get him onto the bed so I can properly tend to Hinata-san's needs!"

_Hinata-san's needs…_ _huh?_

Nodding in return, I brought myself back to Hinata's side and knelt down to the floor. "Well then, would you be okay getting his legs?" 

"O-of course!" Scrambling to his legs, Tsumiki quickly slid her arms under the back of Hinata's knees. "I'm r-ready to lift him when-whenever you are."

I hooked my arms under his armpits, making sure not to take note of just how damp and sweaty he was with fever. There was a moment of eye contact, a quick nod, and then we both lifted him. 

Thankfully the hospital rooms were so small, we didn't have to move Hinata incredibly far to return him to his bed. Tsumiki rearranged his sheets, carefully tucking Hinata back under the dull blue comforter as she examined his arms. 

"I-I-I was coming to re-replace his IV… but it l-looks like he's p-pulled it out…" With a rather disdainful expression, she glanced over to the IV pole. "Again…"

Just as she had said, Hinata's line was pooled on the floor, the small tube that had presumably been in his arm now having smeared blood on the floor. The machine had stopped infusing, in fact it had been switched off entirely so as to not alert Tsumiki, and now the remaining fluid in the line had drained onto the floor. 

"He's been rather uncharacteristically troublesome, hasn't he?" I couldn't help but chuckle, glancing over at the restless, almost pained look on Hinata's face. "I'm sorry, it's reprehensible that I would laugh at your struggle, but I could never see Hinata-kun kicking up such a fuss in his usual state."

There was a short moment of silence before Tsumiki giggled as well, clasping her hands together. "Y-you're right! H-Hinata-san is v-very different. But it's okay! We w-will get through this!" 

"That's the spirit! Your hope is amazing Tsumiki-san! To still haven't given up on Hinata-kun like that… it's amazing! Truly nobody has a tolerance like that of the Ultimate Nurse!" As I took a rather sharp inhale, I couldn't help the big grin that spread on my face. "Seeing you in action like this has brought a worthless nobody like me hope and distracted me from all my worries!" 

Ah. 

My… worries.

My smile became a little more strained. Tsumiki was looking at me with a mix of disgust and fear, the enjoyment she had been feeling at receiving compliments far gone. 

I didn't let my smile fall as I blinked slowly, realising it was probably time for me to leave her be. Lifting my hand, I waved to her as I began to head towards the door. "Well, I won't get in your way any longer. Goodbye."

As I left the scene, I glanced back one last time at the room. In the place where Hinata had collapsed, the spider lily he had been holding earlier was laid on the floor, likely having been abandoned when he came towards me. It seemed as though it had been crushed among the chaos, red petals scattered and bleeding onto the linoleum floor. 

I turned away quickly. 

Why do I… feel so distracted? Why am I so  _ scared _ ?

He  _ kissed  _ me. He wants me to spread it. He  _ told  _ me to spread it. That should be my top priority. 

So why do I so desperately want to turn back? To return and sit by Hinata's side, taking care of his every need instead of spreading hope? 

As I stepped out into the hallway, I shut the door behind me with a shaking hand. That sensation in my chest only continued to grow as I made my way back towards the waiting room.

I should be putting a plan into place, something that would allow me to spread the disease faster. Something that would perhaps lure someone here, bring them in contact. Or perhaps I could bring the infected into the quarantined hotel? Or go back into Hinata's room to go check on him again? Tell the others that Hinata was dying and that we so desperately needed them to come do something before it became the fault of me and my filthy luck and the blood of an Ultimate coated my hands and I would be so deservedly executed. 

Unconsciously, my fingers found their way into my hair, winding themselves around the coarse locks and pulling tightly. There was a familiar sound ringing in my ears, the loud buzzing of a swarm of insects. They filled my ears and mouth and eyes with their filthy touch, tainting everything in sight, destroying the world before me. 

_ "It's your fault he's going to die."  _ They whispered, barely audible beneath the white noise.  _ "It's always your fault. You know this." _

My mind was racing, my lungs were burning. It was if a black poison was seeping over my mind, dripping down over my eyes, obscuring my vision and thoughts. I couldn't think straight, everything was so overwhelming it was almost funny. 

It  _ was _ funny, so I laughed. It hurt my chest and wheezed like the final pitiful exhale of a corpse, but I laughed. 

And I laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed. 

Until something hit me hard on the back of my head, knocking me from my daze and causing me to choke on my breath. 

"Oi. Stop freaking out, it's fuckin' creepy." 

I blinked a few times, my vision beginning to clear as those dark shadows were chased back into the corners of my vision. The hospital's lobby slowly came into vision, along with a very angry looking Kuzuryuu. He scowled, crossing his arms over his chest tightly and forcing himself to sit up taller. 

Ah, of course. How unsightly it must be to watch someone like me being so pathetic. 

All my attempts to apologise were drowned out as I coughed and spluttered, attempting to regain my breath. The world was much clearer now, my eyes readjusting to the tropical sunshine streaming through the windows. It appeared as though I was now sitting down in the waiting room, yet I had no memory of moving from the wards and into the lobby. 

I unballed my fists, my fingers aching from the strain as they unfolded and released my hair. The pain pulling at my scalp faded, and slowly I brought my shaking hands down to my knees. To my frustration, they instinctively gripped tightly at the fabric, clutching tightly until the denim burned into my palms.

Opening my mouth, I attempted once again to say some kind of apology for my misgivings, but all that came out was a rasped "Ah," closely followed by a shaky "Sorry." 

Kuzuryuu huffed, his nose crinkling as he prepared to spit some kind of insult, but instead of ripping into me, he paused. There were a few seconds of still silence before he sighed loudly, allowing his body to relax a little and posture fall. "He's fine, don't get so fuckin' worked up about it." 

"I'm… sure you're right." A breathy laugh forced itself out, as if squeezed out from the tight feeling in my chest. "After all, you are an Ultimate."

"Wha-? You think being an Ultimate makes me right about everything?" He scoffed, not in a tone as if he were looking down and mocking me, but more one of amusement. "They're wrong about you being crazy, you're just a fucking moron like me. Or maybe I'm the crazy one for even talking to you, who knows?" 

It was difficult to think of what to say in response to that. I decided not to think too long on it, instead choosing to laugh along with him. "Perhaps."

The small smile that was on Kuzuryuu's face slowly dropped. The positive feeling in the air evaporated like mist and a heavy silence settled over the room. All that could be heard in the empty waiting room was the sound of Owari sobbing as though her life depended on it echoing down the corridor from her room. Eventually, Kuzuryuu broke the silence as he sighed loudly, leaning back in the stiff plastic hospital chair as best he could.

“I think I’m… starting to get your whole crazy ‘stepping stone to hope’ shit.” He paused to scoff at himself, as if he was in shock that he would say such a thing. “Ever since Peko saved me, it feels like I owe this life to her, or to everyone else. It’s like it’s not my own anymore. Just a spare.”

"If I'm not wrong, you're referring to Pekoyama-san's sacrifice? It’s no surprise you feel that way, but there was very little you could have done to prevent her execution.”

Kuzuryuu still grumbled after I asked, sounding frustrated by the question. It was no surprise, he had reacted rather poorly when I brought it up during Owari’s fight as well, but dancing around the topic seemed pointless. What Pekoyama did for the one she loved was amazing, there was no logical reason to not acknowledge that. 

“It’s that stupid fucking Monokuma’s fault! But what kind of fucking person am I to let Peko take the blow for me after all that I said? It’s messed up. The only reason I didn’t die is because she shielded me, a tool ‘til the end.” As he said the last few words, Kuzuryuu slammed his fist against his leg, growing more frustrated as he continued to think about it.

I shrugged. "Pekoyama-san was an amazing person. She died for the sake of your hope, so that you could continue to be a beacon for your family and the Kuzuryuu Clan. There's no point in being angry at her for doing the right thing…"

_ The right thing, huh? _

"What she did  _ wasn't  _ the right thing! The right thing would have been for her to stay with me!" Jumping out of his chair, Kuzuryuu glared down at me. "No death is a 'hopeful thing' you dumbass!" 

_ Spreading hope is the right thing to do, so that's what I should do, right? _

"Hey! Are you even listening to me? Jesus, you really are messed in the head." He scrunched up his nose in a snarl. "I'm trying to be more forgiving and a better fucking person and all that shit but you  _ really _ piss me off, going on about how everything is great as long as it's for fucking  _ hope _ !"

_ I don't need to worry about my feelings. I just need to spread hope, like Pekoyama-san did. _

I looked up at him, locking eyes as I smiled widely at the Yakuza. "I think I get it now. Thank you, Kuzuryuu-kun, you are a truly wonderful person. I'm sure Pekoyama-san is proud of you."

"What?! What the hell are you talking about, you bastard? Don't go around saying things like that." In an attempt to hide his reddening face, Kuzuryuu turned his head to the side, looking away from me. 

"Sorry, I didn't mean to upset you." I raised my hands in a defensive position, hoping to calm him. 

"Whatever… just go take a break or something." Still refusing to look at me, Kuzuryuu grumbled. "I'll take care of things here, alright?" 

I nodded. "Thank you, Kuzuryuu-kun, you really do make a brilliant leader."

"Just get out of here!"

Laughing softly, I carefully rose to my feet, still feeling a little dizzy from lack of oxygen. As Kuzuryuu began to head back towards the wards, I realised something.

"Wait! How did you know about what happened to Hinata-kun?" 

"Huh?" He stopped, spinning around to face me. "Because you came in here cackling like a maniac. You wouldn't answer my questions so I checked in with Tsumiki about it. By the time I got back you were still out here having your breakdown, just now sitting down and babbling away to yourself creepily about how you were a murderer."

"Ah." Yeah, that sounded right. "Sorry about that."

Kuzuryuu shook his head, muttering something under his breath before pushing open the doors to the corridor and continuing on his way. 

I figured it was probably time I did what he said too and took advantage of this opportunity to put my plan into action. 

With a wide smile, I headed towards the entrance of the hospital, pushing open the doors before stepping out into the warm sunlight.  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So yeah, I'm a gamer.
> 
> I apologise for how damn long it took me to update this. My main excuse consists of: "Jesus christ we're in the middle of a pandemic I do not want to write about Komaeda purposely spreading a contagious disease what the fuck I didn't see this being an issue when I started writing this fic."
> 
> That being said, I can and will nuke you from orbit if you make a corona joke. Please for the love of god do not make a corona joke. I am on my knees begging you to not make a corona joke.
> 
> I am hoping the update the next chapter sooner now that I'm a little more 'back in it' but honestly we'll see. I'd like to thank Mystxmomo for being my main source of motivation to keep writing. She's such a fucking queen and so incredibly talented, I highly recommend you read her postgame fic here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21835372/chapters/52109941
> 
> Thankyou for tagging along even through my slow update schedule

**Author's Note:**

> Thankyou for reading! I will be updating this over time and it won't be a super long fic but I hope to actually complete something for once. I just love Monokuma dropping hints about the despair's true selves through the motives, and we did not get enough Kamukura hints. The will be some Komahina/Kamukoma at some point in the near future.


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